The Battles of Raising a Teenager (Alouse)

Raising a teenager in this society can be very challenging. I remember growing up in a old school Haitian house hold with two boys and I was the only girl. That caused my mother to be very strict with me. I hardly had a social life unless I was at school, had to learn how to prepare my own meals, wash my own clothes, and take care of my younger siblings all while keeping good grades. I can honestly say, my mother was strict with me. She didn't really have to deal with the situations that I have to deal with while having my younger sister living with me. Girlhood has really changed through these past years from when I was younger it seems more fragile and easily influenced.

When I was her age, 14 years old, I was more mature and responsible. I'm not saying I was a perfect angel, like any other teen, I had my rebellious days, but they weren't to the point of disrespect towards my mother. Let me be clear, she's not disrespectful to either me or my mother, but it just seems to me that teenagers expect too much. They expect to have whatever they want and not have to work hard for it. Since my sister been with me, it's been a difficult journey trying to teach her responsibility and accountability. There are days where she doesn't want to hear what I have to say, giving attitude and making unwise decisions in friendships. The other thing that seems to be a problem is her attitude towards school. Sometimes I get to the point where I just want to give up. Instead of giving up, I pray for her and myself, asking God for grace towards her for her actions and patience, understanding that she has bad habits that she has to overcome.

Sometimes the roles of sister and guardian affect our relationship in a stressful way. I have to remind myself that I'm her sister, not her mother, but it's not easy when you have the full responsibility of caring for a teenager. My desire is to not make her feel overwhelmed or unloved, but to help her become a better person, and be a spiritual guidance for her. I can definitely improve, by not being quick to anger, not raising my voice at her, and trying to spend more time with her, versus ordering her around. Hopefully through prayer and consistency, we can grow closer and she will improve, and follow the right path.